Wanting to control our lives is something we all want, but none of us know how to attain it. Think about it, being in control of our lives sounds quite pleasing: we could get whatever we want, whenever we want. So this raises the question: why aren't we in control? Wouldn't life be easier if we could control our current circumstances?
The truth is, being in control isn't as glamorous as it seems. When the weight of the world rests on our shoulders, we crumble. We can't see life's big picture, which is an important key if we want power and control.
The reason why life is painful at times is simple: God sees what we cannot see. He sees the whole picture He's painting, while we only get a glance. We might have to endure suffering for a time because there's something greater on the other side of it. If we were in control, we surely wouldn't subject ourselves to pain--even if it meant we'd get something beautiful further down the road.
If we were in control, our lives might look amazing from the outside, but on the inside, we would be aching for a savior. We would be longing for someone to take the weight off our shoulders. We would be wishing we had a more abundant life.
But, there's good news. We can all step back and breathe because we're not in control. This reality is both freeing and terrifying. It's freeing because we aren't the ones who have to orchestrate every detail of our lives. But terrifying because we can't orchestrate every detail of our lives. We want control, but at the same time, we don't. It's a strange tug-of-war, one that dates back thousands of years to the Garden of Eden.
When God made Adam and Eve and put them in the Garden of Eden, they had free reign over their lives. They could go anywhere and do anything. They could build a house and start a family. They could even walk side-by-side with God if they wanted to. It was a perfect place with endless possibilities.
In a way, you could say they had a level of control--except there was one rule. They could eat the fruit from any tree in the garden, except from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If they ate from it, they would die. No problem. Just don't eat from one tree. Easy, right? Enter Satan.
In the form of a serpent, Satan came to tempt Eve. In Genesis 3:1 (NIV), he asked her, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" He planted a seed of doubt in Eve's mind. In the next verse, she responded, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'"
Eve's seed of doubt contined to grow--and Satan knew it. "'You will not certainly die,' the serpent said to the woman. 'For God knows that when you eat from it, your eyes will be open, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'"
Eve realized that there was an area in her life where she didn't have control, and she wanted it. She wanted to be like God. We all know how the story goes. She took the fruit, ate it, gave it to Adam, and they both realized they were naked. Then they tried hiding from God. When they gained the one thing they wanted--the illusion of control--they were ashamed.
Adam and Eve knew they did something incredibly wrong. And, since then, the world has been paying the price for their sin. That's because control always leads to downfall. Humans weren't meant to carry the weight of the world. Every one of us needs a savior--someone to carry us. Someone to hold us close and orchestrate our lives. As wonderful and tempting as control may be, we were never meant to be in control. And once we gain the control we think we're seeking after, it's only an illusion.
Maybe you feel like you're struggling to gain control in some area of your life. I want to look at three songs about the battle for control. Ultimately, we're going to learn that there are areas in our lives that we simply have to surrender. Surrendering is scary, and it's hardly easy. But it's worth it. It's worth giving our burdens to the God who created the universe, who is capable of carrying the weight of the world.
for KING & COUNTRY, "Control"
When my family and I go on vacation, I'm always the travel agent. I plan out every hour of our trip and squeeze in as many fun activities as possible. We've gone to concerts, museums, and have made countless trips to the ocean thanks to a little planning and scheduling. While I love planning our family trips, it can become dangerous when I try to plan things beyond the control I have in my life.
I'll play out scenarios in my mind of situations and problems that may never happen. I'll begin to worry about things that are completely beyond me. Sound familiar? This is something that we all deal with, and it all stems from trying to navigate something that is not ours to control.
As much as we hate to admit it, we can't control what someone thinks of us or whether we'll get the job that we've been waiting for. But we just want answers. We want to know where we're going to be in five years and everything that will happen in between.
But what if not having all the answers is exactly where we're supposed to be? God doesn't give us a roadmap, and He doesn't give us a step-by-step guide. He gives us Himself. We see this so clearly when God called His prophet Abraham. In Genesis 12:1, God said to him, "Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you." He didn't give Abraham all the details. He didn't tell him how everything would work out. He just said, "Go." God works the same way today.
I first heard for KING & COUNTRY's song "Control" while going through a difficult season alongside my family. On the backside of it, I wanted reassurance. I wanted to know that I wouldn't have to go through this pain again. That season of difficulty was followed by a season of anxiety, simply because I didn't know what the future was going to look like.
Control was something I wanted. But God didn't provide me with a roadmap of what my life would look like, He just reminded me that He's the one who's in control. The first verse in the song goes, "I've always had a plan, but now I'm so weary/And I can't see clearly, forgot who I am." Isn't that how we feel when life isn't going the way we expected it to?
"I give up control/Body mind and soul/Can't do this on my own, no no/I give up control."
Just like Abram had no control over where God was sending him, we have no control over what our life will look like in the days that are ahead. But that's a beautiful thing. It means that God has a plan that is better than ours, and He's going to make sure we get to the promised land He has in store for us. Although we don't know what's around the next corner, we can trust the One who told Abram to "Go," knowing that the same God has good things in store for us.
"I give up control/Body mind and soul/Can't do this on my own, no no/I give up control."
Switchfoot, "The Strength To Let Go"
In a previous article, I used an analogy from the New York Times bestselling novel, The Mysterious Benedict Society. And once again, I have to quote the famous series. From the very beginning of the book series, the antagonist, Mr. Curtain, is portrayed as a man who wants control. So much so that he created a device to erase people's memories and manipulate their minds. But time and time again, a group of children known as The Mysterious Benedict Society overthrow his plans. And every time this happens, Mr. Curtain just wants to regain control all over again.
In almost every book, Mr. Curtain has a grand scheme to gain control over a certain area of life, in order to gain complete control. For him, control is like an addiction. He wants more of it, but ultimately, nothing can satisfy his deep longing. In the end, the only option he had was to surrender.
In book three of the series, The Prisoner's Dilemma, he's put into a position where he's forced to give up control. He says, "Yes, I suppose it's time I relinquish control--at least I can control the relinquishing." Even as he chooses to relinquish control, still part of him wants so badly to keep holding on.
We're are like Mr. Curtain. We hold onto control so tightly that even as we let go, we're still trying to grasp it. It's a constant battle that we can't win on our own. We need the strength to let go.
One of my favorite songs from the rock band Switchfoot is called "The Strength To Let Go." I love it because it's a battle cry and a prayer for the strength to surrender control. There's a line in the song that says, "To think all of this time, I had wings that were ready to soar."
Control isn't just something that can be harmful to our lives. It literally prevents us from living our lives abundantly. When we're bound to the lie that we need to be the ones orchestrating all the small details of our lives, making sure everything goes according to plan. We leave no room for creativity. We leave no room for the supernatural and the unexpected. We have wings that are ready to soar, but we're tied down by the weight of control.
Today, I give you this challenge: ask God to give you the strength to let go. Ask Him for the strength to surrender. Actively look for ways to make room for the unexpected, and invite God into your mess. Life is too short to try to aim for control and perfection. What are you trying to control? Ask God to help you let go. Life always goes better when we surrender and lay our problems at the feet of Jesus. He gave you wings that are ready to soar.
"Give me the strength to let go/Give me the strength to surrender/Give me the strength to stop holding on, I've been holding on so long/Give me the strength to let go/And show me the way to come home."
Switch, "Letting Go"
Have you noticed that control and anxiety typically go together? When we strive for control, in return, we get stress and anxiety, both of which are like a dark hole that becomes harder and harder to get out of the deeper down we go. As I previously mentioned, we need the strength to let go of control, or else we'll keep finding ourselves in the vicious cycle of fear and anxiety.
1 Peter 5:6-7 says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Once we humble ourselves and realize that we're not in control, we'll see that our anxiety gets taken off of us. The pressure is no longer on us. Fear of failure begins to fade.
We cast our anxiety on Jesus because He's big enough to handle all our fears. He's the one who has ultimate control--not us. Control and anxiety don't have to define our lives. Instead, we can transfer the weight of our burdens to the only one who is capable of carrying it.
Worship pop band Switch's new song "Letting Go" dives into the topic of releasing the weight of control in exchange for a more meaningful and abundant life. The opening line asks the question, "Did I ever have control or just anxiety?" Control is an illusion, and it always leads to anxiety and unrest. That's why we need to surrender. Jesus is big enough to handle your problems, and He isn't afraid of them. He doesn't need perfection, He just wants your heart. He wants you to hold your plans a little looser. He wants you to make room for the unexpected.
So, whatever comes next, I'm going to choose to trust that God knows better than I do. His plans are better than mine, so I'm going to surrender the illusion of control. Will you?
"Here with these questions/I open up my hands, come and wreck my plans/While I'm waiting now, I worship/I trust You're in control, come and make me whole."
Grace Chaves has been a fan of all things Christian music since 2016. She is NRT's news editor, and one of NRT's youngest writers. Homeschooled, Grace is an author, loves Jesus, concerts, and road trips.
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