We Love Christian Music Awards
HEARTSPEAK WITH PAUL PHILLIPS
#5 - Order, Obsession, and the Soundtrack of Anxiety
NRT's Paul Phillips talks about living with OCD in a world that doesn’t get it
 


HEARTSPEAK WITH PAUL PHILLIPS, #5 - Order, Obsession, and the Soundtrack of Anxiety
Posted: April 10, 2025 | By: PaulPhillips_NRT
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Anxiety has become a buzzword. Artists in both Christian and mainstream circles discuss their battles with anxiety. This isn't meant to downplay the artist’s struggles but to highlight that many people do not grasp what those who experience anxiety endure.
 
To be more specific, I struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Your first thought might be, “Oh, I have that. My song lyrics must be perfect, and my kitchen counter must be spotless.” Don’t confuse OCD with mere preference. 
 
The often misunderstood OCD—and anxiety—can be an excruciating disorder where the pain is inflicted mentally, not physically. Order OCD, which means everything must be in perfect order, is something I struggle with. 
 
My obsession was that every song on my playlist had to be in a specific order. I compulsed by spending hours agonizing over the correct order, not to mention whether I should include a song on the playlist. The more compulsions I did, the worse my anxiety became.
 
Wait a second. Isn’t music and playlists supposed to be enjoyable? Of course! However, for me, making playlists quickly lost their joy. Creating playlists brings me a lot of enjoyment. Unfortunately, as someone who struggles with OCD, I have a threshold where things go too far.
 
OCD is a bully. It plants lies and intrusive thoughts in your head (yes, the enemy is guilty of that, too). It attacks your values. I can go on. In Philippians 4:6-7, God tells us to bring our anxiety to Him through prayer, supplication, and gratitude: “Let your requests be made known to God.” Gratitude can help divert your mind from what you’re anxious about. It’s one of many available options.
 
Contemporary artist Jeremy Camp gets it right in his hit song, “Anxious Heart.” “Locked up and I'm so in my head/Heart starts racing and I can't slow it down/Hands shaking and I'm losing my breath/Paralyzed with a mind spinning out.” Perfect physical and mental description of anxiety. Words to say to God who brings comfort: “You are the light when my world goes dark/You hold me together when I'm torn apart/When my thoughts have run away too far/You're the calm for my anxious heart.” Those are great words to live by.
 
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
 

Paul Phillips is a Canadian journalist with 20 years of experience writing and editing digital and print content. He specializes in health, fitness, nutrition, and travel. He loves music, movies, and, of course, living for Jesus.

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