In a dream about you, I snuck past St. Peter and the pearly gate,
And then the alarm went off, and you were warned, 'cause the sign flashed, "Second rate,"
With my ears all full of wax, and my hair greasy and crawling with lice, I ran over
and hunkered down and hid there behind the tree of life,
I saw the humble and the meek passing by with the proud and important, but I kept
my distance from them 'cause I smelled like Ed Norton,
And I kept cutting my feet on the blades of sharp diamond grass,
And all the sick and indecent things I'd done went by in just a flash,
My singed beard caught the sweat, the tears, the blood, the crud, and the saliva,
I had a mouth full of dirty sores and Vincent's angina,
Got this feeling you and all the people knew all along that I was hiding over there, with my filthy little past and my dirty underwear.
Then I caught sight of You, and Your beauty broke my heart,
I hung back in the deep shadows 'cause I was stinking to high heaven,
Well, what could I do?
Your beauty broke my heart,
Wanted to crawl back in my man-hole then, 'cause I was stinking to high heaven.
Well, I admired the fine clothes of all the saints that were passing me by in their pretty chiffon gowns, their wings and their silk suits and ties,
Their language was a foreign tongue, maybe Latin or Greek,
But all the prayers that I whispered there to you were stupid, obscene and weak,
Then I got this idea to cover myself in a thorny bush disguise,
Laying low I crept along the shores of the river of life,
I saw a wondrous city of pure crystal, with it's streets all made of gold,
And then I smoked a camel cigarette and shivered there in the cold,
I turned around and saw a beautiful mansion, all going up in flames,
There was a stone sign in the front yard, and on it someone had carved my name,
And the angels rolled out a fire hose, they were trying to save the place,
I felt they could probably use my help, but I didn't dare show my face,
And when the smoke had cleared I cried out when I saw that everything was lost,
There was no mansion anymore, just a single wooden cross,
And then an angel tapped me on the shoulder, he said, "Boy, you sure do smell like sin, and this place is pretty crowded, but I think we can squeeze you in."
Then I caught sight of You, and Your beauty broke my heart,
I looked at You, and Your beauty broke my heart,
Don't know what to do now,
Don't know what to do now,
Don't know what to do now 'cause your beauty broke my heart now,
(ad lib)