Parody of "Gold Digger" by Kanye West (Featuring Jamie Foxx)
(Romans 1:18-25, Job 40:15-41:34)
They make a monkey right out of me -- Yes, they've been tryin' endlessly
Overeager bonediggers -- they never found that jigsaw piece
They make a monkey right out of me -- It makes for funky biology
I'm not the kid of some hominid, who comes from a lizard, whose mama was a fish
Now I ain't hatin' on the bone diggers, but I say evolution don't figure
Now, I ain't hatin' on the bone diggers, but I ain't never seen no holes bigger
It sounds like no evidence found, it sounds like their heads in the ground
It sounds like they're just too proud, it sounds quite boneheaded
You need to ponder whether evolution is wrong
Whether maybe you was put on under cover of dawn
They said, "We can tell from rocks, we tell by the carbon"
'Cause this world has gotta flock of descendants of Charles Robert Darwin
But I'm lookin' for the odds at casinos
That life could come to be from random acids amino
Zero -- we know it's hocus pocus
And they wanna make all of that an accidental process?
O.K., let's pretend a fishy got some kids
That stood up on their fins and crawled up on land
Without evidence and here we are today
If you're trustin' in this worldview you better have faith
You know why? They make too much of nothin'
Stuff that I've heard it should have been on Mythbusters
Their best forensic samples couldn't cut the mustard
You don't care what none of us say you still trust it
(They make a monkey) Now I ain't hatin' on the bone diggers (right out of me)
But I say evolution don't figure (It makes for funky)
Now, I ain't hatin' on the bone diggers (biology)
But I ain't never seen no holes bigger (I'm not the kid)
It sounds like no evidence found (of some hominid)
It sounds like their heads in the ground (who comes from a lizard)
It sounds like they're just too proud (whose mama was a fish)
It sounds quite boneheaded
1859's the fateful year -- they've had 150 years to prove their great new theory
I know some funny ways they found support for some of it, kids
They made some hominids from parts of gibbons and pigs
Your museums are deceiving when you visit one they
Take a couple bones pawn it off as a primate
They were s'posed to find all sorts of life forms we could study
They went to the rocks and got dinosaurs in the muddy
They're talkin' down actin' like the Bible is so funny
Could've got dinos sooner if they tried Job 41-y
If it ain't no bunk, holler "We want proof now, we want proof now, yeah!"
It's somethin' that'll make you mad
Cause all the links they had were either weak or bad
Great big digs since the 1860's
And after waiting and searchin' they found out it doesn't exist?
CHORUS
Now I ain't hating on the bone digger, no, not me
I've found trilobites in stone and some petrified trees
You know evolution ain't paleontology
Transition forms are lackin' -- got a hole up his sleeve
But -- the other option's not fun
So he gonna make you into a man out of that pond scum
This is his religion baby, don't be surprised
That fishy on all fours on his jeep's his messiah
So, let's no fight -- I won't abuse Darwin 'cause that's not nice
And they're gonna keep stallin' and tryin' to prove they're right though
And when you catch on we'll lead you back to the Bible
SECOND HALF OF CHORUS
