lines in my hands
light through the walls
i'm writing letters to you with my prayers
long before what i've stood up will fall
or who i thought i might be is ensnared
a man inside a fish
scales from someone's eyes
a family in a great big boat while the rest of the world dies
you're making food to feed five thousand
you're saying "let the children come to me"
in the corner of the classroom i am pulling back the carpet
i'm afraid of what i see
what is truth?
what is truth?
what is true?
what is truth?
what is truth?
what is true?
how big are love and history?
and what hides inside their mouths?
there are holes in me from things pushed in
when i pull them out
and out of which come questions that i can not unwrap
what i once learned is not enough to hold the torrent back
i feel as though the weight of questions has grown to cruel to bear
though i long to lift it now
the load makes me despair
ask though i may the faces who once led me by the hand
their voices are unfamiliar
i'm not even sure they understand
and now my spine is bowed
by the boxes on my back
i don't know how to open them
i want to give them back
and yet you will not stir to ease this burden that i carry
it seems as though you've piled them up and treated me unfairly
it's this devastating world that laughs and steals upon my back
and everything comes crashing down when my will finally cracks
no longer will i tote the cryptic words of ages gone
when i was being broken, where were you all along?
lessons recounted faithfully now fall like clumps of wool
the men and women who lied to me are cockeyed, panting wolves
they wave their flags and cast their stones and sneer with lusty grins
commanding me to follow a path they have never believed in
they low like cattle with bulging veins
and militant fists in the air
join their flock or burn in hell and i'm not sure that i care
crawling out from the wreckage
of all that i've been taught
i'm leaving it behind
they fling their venom out at me
when i resign
outside the gates i drag myself into a world bigger than i had believed
and inside they flay their sheep
lest they follow me and leave
but after everything i've done
and everything i do
i can still remember you
lines in my hands
light through the walls
i'm writing you letters with my prayers
after all that i've stood up falls
and i afford you none of my cares
if i ask you "what is truth" will you be silent still?
my questions and doubts may chasm
i fear you can not fill
perhaps the lens i've eyed you through keeps me from from the truth
i can't find what i'm looking for
and i still remember you
when i relent the shackles of all that i've been fed
i pull back the floor and find something beautiful instead
after everything that i've been through
i don't recognize myself anymore
sometimes i think that i might remember
but then i close the door
i walk away from everything
and find myself made free
in all the tangles of who i am
the truth is that you love me
just as i was, just as i am
just as i will be
in all the tangles of who i am
the truth is that you love me
