I'm a believer, sometimes I believe the lies of the deceiver The lies are seeds when they sprout they lead to seasons of spiritual amnesia Deep seated self-doubt it creeps in my conscience, feeds my fear and keeps me up at night conquered by critical thoughts my mind is prone to conjure When it wanders, watching my failures, play back, play back on repeat I try to change the chain of events but can't rewind or find the delete button to push I'm on the edge, it's like the world is about to end I'm in the middle of Armageddon with no arms, no weapons, no armor for protection It's the testing of my faith and I know the answer but instead I'm just guessing Like I forgot that God was my Father and I was set apart for His own possession His Word is my armor and my protection against the enemies deception but still I question How could I receive such an incredible blessing when I feel like I'm less than? Because I went through a divorce, am I a second rate Christian? I know that's a lie So I won't listen through Christ I'm forgiven I'm being formed into His image According to God I was called from the darkness into His marvelous light He is near to the brokenhearted and faithful to finish what He started
Who do you think you are?
As a child I struggled to identify most of my misplaced anger and rage Dealing with the whole of emotional consequences based on the way I was raised Appealing for affection and affirmation, adjusting performance to get attention and gain some sort of acceptance but found I was always rejected and pushed away Deep scars, feelings of not belonging caused tall emotional walls and any attempt to recover from the loss of my confidence was incredibly small The residual effects of abandonment had me observing my character flaws and viewing them all as insufficiently capable of relating or growing with God I believed these lies to be true for me, my experience was the proof for me Up to the point where I could sense Christ relentless love and complete pursuit of me And spoke to me offering me hope and life through His Word showing me His beauty Changing my perception and giving me perspective of the way that God truly viewed me A man who was prized and pardoned, and chosen before the world's foundation His own possession His royal priesthood, I'm part of His holy nation I'm His friend, I'm valued, completely cared for enough for Christ to purchase according to God I'm an adopted child with intimate access created with purpose
