To My Future Husband
All I know is that when I saw you
My heart stopped
It was like the heavens opened
And you had just fallen out
But that’s when I realized
I just called you satan
And that I probably shouldn't
Let that come out of my mouth
Holy cow you were perfect
Your first words to me were asking
How I was
And shoot I know that’s my job
But the question rolled off your
Tongue like poetry
Allowing me the space to be honest
It’s like all of those disney movies
Suddenly made sense
And the birds began singing
And I felt this burning
Need to know your name
It took some courage to
Decide that I should talk to you
But even before that our
Whole lives flashed before my eyes
And I realized
That regardless of my
Social ineptitude
You would be worth it
And sure!
I don’t even know your name yet
But it was like I could see the future
In a perfect photograph
That pictures you and me together
You asked how my day was going
And even about my needs
You told me that God should be
The center of my everything
That no matter what was wrong
He would see me through and that I would be fine
But then I realized you were just the dude at chick-fil-a
And I should probably stop holding up the line
Love is a wonderful feeling
But it’s a terrible idea
I can see you and I together
But I cannot see a future for myself
Because I am terrified to be loved
Because I’m not entirely sure
What that feels like
And I think I’m more afraid that I’ll
Like it
It’s not that I don’t trust you
I just need you to know the truth
I’m weird to the point
Where I think it’s clinical
But I think it’s cute to call it quirky
When really I’m terrified
For you to see
The real me
And decide its not worth keeping
And that as soon as I open up
I’ll be seeking a new
Friend for the end of the world
Again
I don’t mean to be dramatic
But then maybe I do
I’m sorry
I just wanted you to know the truth
And I guess it’s just that
I hope this means
You don’t leave me too
But here we are
Waiting to find the same page
Or even look each other in the eyes
Because the words that you see
When you read my mind
Never matched the ones coming out of my mouth
I still blame it all on fear
And on timing
Because it’s easier to blame the universe
Than anyone else
Or even myself
But I know that you’ll see past that
To the places
That i have quarantine for fear
Of feeling
I know that you will stand by me anyway
Teaching my that scars are just a waypoint
A place to start a journey
And remember the history that made me
That you can look past my eyes
And see something worth saving
And waiting for
Dear future Husband
Look
I’m sorry in advance
For all of the things that
I’m going to put you through
I know that 2am rants of the universe
Are fun the first 3 times
But know that if I start that
It’s only because the stars in your eyes
Lead me there
And that the space between us
Is where our words will fall
But through it all none
Of them will ever fail
I know that you’re out there somewhere
And we are casually drifting closer
Together
Waiting for our time to algine
But sometimes
I think of you as my knight in shining armor
Who is riding a turtle
stampeding through peanut butter
Because you certainly haven’t gotten here yet
But
This is the honest truth
I really cannot wait to meet you
